Yes Dear Readers…Flys fly upside down…

As Told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen

Dear Readers, especially the young reader who asked me specifically, on my blog, if flys, fly upside down?  Well Dear Reader, flys do fly upside down.  Have you ever noticed that when there is a dog pooh on the sidewalk flys are always sitting on it and sniffing it…..well they sit and sniff and sniff some more, then when it’s time to fly off, they realize they got pooh on their shoes….and if they fly right side up they would smell it all the time…because their nose is underneath their eyes like us….so what they do when flys fly upside down, the pooh on their shoes are down wind from their noses and their eyes even though they are upside down at least they can see where the next spot of dog pooh is…..so yes Dear Reader…..flys always fly upside down….only because they got pooh on their shoes….isn’t that gross? Your friend, Andy from Canada….

Barack Obama…McCain is such a Dork!

As Told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen

Dearest Barack, you can never win eh Bud? ….. with McCain that is and the Republicans….after a three year hiatus….you finally go overseas again…to visit the troops….and yet, the Republicans make sure that they are that obnoxious fart in your elevator….don’t worry Barack!….all of us, including me, have an IQ over the circumference of a turnip….so we all don’t buy Republican hype…or McCains meanderings through his clouded mind…..don’t get me wrong Barack….I respect the Warrior…but that’s as far as it goes….so anyways Bro…..do your Rock and Roll duty and bring America back to the Americans….much respect, your friend in Canada, Andy…. 

Nothing Shall Ever Keep Us Apart

As Told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen

Take a lump of clay, wet it, pat it, make a statue of you and a statue of me….

Then shatter them, clatter them, add some water and break them and mold them into a statue of you and a statue of me…..

Then in mine there are bits of you and in you there are bits of me….Nothing shall ever keep us apart….

Kuan Tao-Sheng

Helen Degeneres You Proved White Man Can’t Dance!

As Told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen

Dearest Ellen Degeneres, well….saw your show today and you were bragging about your stupid dancing as always and Barrack was on and in 30 seconds of him dancing along with you, you in California on a live feed and him in Texas….he blew you out of water….remember Ellen, white man, and you are a man, so you say, yuck, white man cannot dance….remember that next time you do one of your idiotic dances with a person of colour…you always did look retarded pretending to be a dancer, you are just a dyke in sneekers…Best to you, Andy from Canada

Christie Brinkley vs Peter Cook

As Told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen

Peter, Peter Cook, what on earth were you thinking?  Spending $3000 a month, whacking off on pornography tapes, filming yourself whacking off in the mirror, paying off an eighteen year old $300,000 hush money…..what are you thinking Peter Cook?  You were married to one of the most beautiful, fit, and I mean physically beautiful too and you want to jerk off all over the place….you are slime….you don’t even deserve the two million you got…you only deserve 25 cents that you put into a phone booth for the men in white coats to carry you away….ha ha…ho ho…hee hee….I cannot believe, I cannot believe it…..Andy from Canada….

Bank President Bonevi re: Indymac

As Told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen

Dear Mr. Bonevi, I guess you’ve made it clear that the hoodies and the thugs and the mugs stay away from Indymac on Monday…..because it’s obvious there’s nothing there….seriously, how could this happen?  How did another bank go bankrupt twenty-four years ago?  I don’t understand American banking or economics, that is why in Canada where I am from they’re not privately owned….and allows the corruption of corporate collusion and monopoly….up here in Canada our government is too involved and that too does admittedly allow maleficence but not to the degree of two major banks being brought to their knees….in twenty-four years…..anyways…..I feel sorry for those with over a $100K and laughingly I feel sorry for a crack addicted hoodie trying to hold up Indymac on Monday…..Wow!  What a story!…Peace Out, Andy from Canada….

Dumbing Down of Society…Gag Me Out!

As Told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen

Ok, I’ve had one too many glasses of wine, but, this I had to whine about.  I am so sick of the dumbing down of our culture.  Our movies, are f’ing stupid.  The last two movies I saw were Ran and The Last Emperor.  The last classical music CD and television special that made me cry were the Three Tenors.  The last commercial I laughed at was a take off of the Beverley Hillbillies….where oh where has smart television, smart movie making, and smart lyric making re the stupid songs we hear now…..where is our culture going?  I think into a black hole of Calcutta….meaning, an abyss…and as we all know when you stare into the abyss…the abyss stares back at you…..God help us all!  Our political correctness, our dour economy, our staid personalities, have screwed and twisted what should have been a beautiful vibrant and ever growing and ever enlargening and ever engrossing culture of power, intelligence and growth….God, I am glad I am 53….I’ve lived a good fun life….1960s, 1970s, 1980s…..and it all ended after there…..I am sure…..I bet the bullet, I am looking at right now, that I am right….Peace Out, Andy…..from Ottawa….

Jon-Benet Ramsay…..Now Pineapple Theory?

As Told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen

I am just watching the Nancy Grace show as we speak, my Secretary/Wife is typing as fast as I speak…..we’re talking touch DNA, which I believe is relevant and important……and some hag that was on first on the show was talking about pineapple in that poor girl’s stomach which was less than 2 hours old and a bowl of pineapple on the kitchen counter….never heard that before in 12 years…..I think the DA, the police, and every other law enforcement agency is grasping at every straw mostly imagined I might add…..to nail the last survivor of the family…..Mr. Ramsay himself….poor Patsy was lowered into the ground still with a cloud of suspicion, I don’t know how the Son can bear what he has been dealt with by the Police and Press…..ok, the show is back on,….I gotta go….Andy

Charlie Rangel - I believe in you!

As Told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen

Dear Charlie, just walked away from CNN and they were yipping and yapping by obviously Republican sources concerning those four rooms in a housing unit in Harlem…..ok, let me get this straight….one, is your office….two, is probably where you live…..three, is probably storage for your office supplies…and the fourth, could be a chauffeur or whatever….I see no problem with this….Good God!  Check out our Canadian politicians….Charlie I am serious, you are a good man….I have followed you a long time through the news and your politics and I am behind you 100% Brother…..I hope that the Republican infiltrator winds up with egg dripping down his face and jowls….keep up the fight Brother!  Your admirer in Canada, Andy from Ottawa

A Sexist Man’s Opinion on Good Looking Guys!

As Told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen

Alright….some people who read my blog either messaged me or the ones that know me called me…..and said well….if you are such a connoisieur….of good looking women….who do you consider good looking guys?  Well….I am not Cojo the Hairdresser or Mr. Rockwell…..cuz I’m straight….but I’ll leap into the waters and say as a straight guy who I think are good looking masculine men…..past and present…..

1.  Me (Note from wife:  he is not kidding on this one)

Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Gregory Peck, Anthony Quinn, Sean Connery, Errol Flynn, Don Johnson, Jan Michael Vincent, Jon Bon Jovi, Jack Nicolson, Arnold Swarzenneger, Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Justin Trudeau, John Kennedy Junior (what a loss RIP - would have gone very far), Charles Bronson, Clint Eastwood, Roland Gift (lead singer of Fine Young Cannibels), Sidney Portier, Mohammed Ali, Tommy Morrison (boxer), Sir Richard Branson, Donald Rumsfeld (I kid you not…I hope when I’m his age I am as smart and good looking), Anderson Cooper, John Roberts, Denzel Washington, Martin Luther King, Barack Obama, Stephen Harper (Canadian PM), Carlos Santana, Me, all the guys from Metallica (now that they cut their hair), Johnny Cash, and anyways……I could go on, especially with assistance from my disgruntled wife….you get my point…everybody is beautiful in their own way, their own body and their own soul…if they are actualized and happy in their skin….Peace Out, Andy

Barack Obama re NBC Family Interview

As Told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen

Dearest Barack and Michele, you looked fantastic on the out clips that I’ve seen today about yours and your two beautiful daughters on that July 08 interview on NBC…..I didn’t catch whose birthday it was, but coincidently enough that is my birthday too….and, as I said, I only saw the out takes on The View, some snippets on the news and you are a beautiful family, you are beautiful people, and you did well by showing all of the above and your family’s humility, humanity, and down to earth reality….like I was thinking right off the mark….hey, what was good for J.F.K. and Jackie with their kids is more than good enough for a real down to earth Brother and Sister….and their beautiful children….the oldest daughter is a real charmer….we should think that we all have been blessed to be invited briefly as it will prove to be to see you all as a happy family unit…God Bless You All!  Andy from Canada