How to Confuse a Wife – Part 69

As told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen

Three months before you decide to hatch your plan to confuse a wife…..claim that you were struck by a moonbeam that stayed on you the entire night while you slept and awoke and slept…of course your wife should not be sleeping with you then….then, #1)  shave your head and act normal and let your wife adjust to this….#2) over the next 3 months slowly but surely start shaving all bodily hair from your body ie. hair from your leg one day, the next day on the opposite side of your body your entire arm hair….carry this on for the entirety of 3 months…..oh by the way…..don’t forget your private parts…shave them too…then when your wife who by now should be entirely confused and she asks you what in the H is going on….tell her “remember that moon beam?”……then start talking about going into space far far far away, way past the galaxy with the Venutians…..I am going up with the Venutians…..watch how befuddled and confused your wife looks, but do not allow her to call the cops or the mental hospital, then……in your brilliant plan wrap tin foil around the entirety of your favourite baseball cap….and your favourite jean pants…….then start speaking gibberish……when the guys in the white coats and the muscle men in their white uniforms come to carry you away….say, Gotcha, I confused her real good…..part 69…..Peace Out, Andy from Ottawa…

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Filed under Commentary on TV Shows, Culture, Entertainment, Fable, Fact, Inspirational, Letter to my Friends, Life, News, World View

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