As told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen
1. Now that you are a clean shaven, proven Venutian ….. now is time for you to secretively go to the grocery store and buy a box of food dye…..red, green, yellow, blue, orange……..one night secretively paint your private parts in green and then go to bed…..with your wife…..when she wakes up, watch her confused look…..
2. Ask her how much money has she saved in gas now that the recall on her gas pedal has been solved by you….because you are such a genius….teeheehee….
3. Now that you found out your wife is totally an environmental nut and refuses plastic or paper at the grocery store when you are with her and they ask…..what will it be….paper or plastic? you immediately respond….latex….trust me….I swear on everything holy….I did this…..and boy was my wife confused…..and so was the cashier….teeheehee
4. Gather all the loose hairs of the dogs and cats in your house and stitch them into one of your cats stuffed mice, apply bandages as necessary…..then, cut out from one of your wifes useless pink whatevers and stitch ears, two eyes, and a long tail onto the now hairy mouse…..then, when wife is out of the house…toss into the foot of her bed……listen for the screams at night and when she bursts through your bedroom door, look how confused she is…..
5. According to my wife I cannot go on any longer…..kind of sounds like Alfred Hitchcock eh? You’ll have to figure out more to the stories…..all my love, Andy from Canada…..