As told by Andrew James Murdoch Stephen
1. Buy two adult chickens in the afternoon, hide them in the garage and then when your wife and you go to your separate bedrooms to sleep, sneak outside and release the chickens in the basement….close the door. Once your beloved starts squawking hours later…..see how confused she looks when you tell her…..”I didn’t hear nothing”….
2. Late at night after your beloved has gone to bed and is snoring her head off sneak into her bathroom and scotch tape a big circle in the middle of her toilet paper….imagine how confused she would look later on…..teeheehee
3. Sleep at the open back door of your sliding patio doors with no mattress or pillows and when your wife questions you, talk Venutian…..
4. Start carrying around your kid’s water pump gun, then cover it tightly with tin foil, make sure the water gun still works, then put on your favourite tin foil hat and start patrolling like an Army Sentry….hup two three four, hup two three four….for hours on end, and then announce to your wife you are going to start patrolling outside….to fight the Venutians..watch carefully, how really really confused she looks now……tried and true, from me to you, Andy from Canada
p.s. my wife is very comfortable in her new sleeveless white jacket, but she still looks very confused….