Category Archives: Fact

Men hate cheap toilet paper…we must end this..

Dear Male Readers, I am sure I am not alone in this, when our hausnfraus and wife insist on always purchasing ginormous size discount toilet paper……we already know our woman wrap their hands with toilet paper like a boxing glove and block the toilets….meanwhile, we sit down on the throne….do our business…and unwrap a reasonable amount of toilet paper and oh my God….when we wipe, with cheap toilet paper, we have given ourselves our own prostate exam…..isn’t that gross….I propose we organize a national, no let me say, international day of protest….against crappy bulk size cheap toilet paper….still moaning in pain….still flushed with embarrassment from my own self induced prostate exam….Andy from Ottawa.

Leave a comment

Filed under Commentary on TV Shows, Culture, Entertainment, Fable, Fact, Inspirational, Letter to my Friends, Life, Music, News, Spiritual, Uncategorized, World View

Steve Earle…still the loser eh?

Steve, this is crazy Andy from Ottawa…we met in 91 and 92 in Ottawa and that was back when you were cool….you were brilliant, creative way beyond belief, loud and proud, and your life obviously proved your life set….which was learn, earn, and return i.e. to the public…..ok….so you gave up drugs, you gave up booze, and you evidently you gave up a shit load of friends and muses….who had inspired you….so for the past couple of years former fans were left gagging with the new Steve Earle…..a muted, castrated, college professor with a guitar, no band….today, I saw on the newscrawler, April 25, 2011, that you were deeply affected by Merle Haggard’s, I image, gravestone ephitaph and that’s what made you recover….p.s. Steve….detox is for quitters, abstinance is for quitters, so get real Steve….get back to your old real self and you might get mega rich, like you were before….yes, yes, I know…you still have to pay over 60 thousand dollars a month child support for all your kids…remember you told me that Steve back in 91?  so you would be mega rich again if you ever returned to your real self….alas, back when you were cool and I called you friend…..Andy from Ottawa…

Leave a comment

Filed under Commentary on TV Shows, Culture, Entertainment, Fact, Life, Music, Uncategorized, World View

Israel, you’re provoked, yet they call for a cease fire

Israel, Israel, Israel, what are you to do?  Just heard on CNN news at 3 o’clock p.m. EST, Sunday the 10th of April, that those oh so glorious warriors who launch rockets into your cities finally provoke your response, and they bleat…..We want a cease fire!  God, Israel, thank God you’re a strong people….thank goodness for your patience….because if you responded like Dayan, ya, you would have eliminated them….but you would have the neo-facists states of the EU and everyone else, except Canada and the USA jumping to their defence….regardless of their numerous murderous provocations….if you can use a 56 year old ex-cop to work in a kibbutz to free up a healthy Sabra to fight or for that matter, me to fight send me an airline ticket….Shalom, best to you all, love and respect for your country and people, Andy from Ottawa…

Leave a comment

Filed under Commentary on TV Shows, Culture, Entertainment, Fact, Inspirational, Letter to my Friends, Life, Music, News, Politics, Spiritual, Uncategorized, World View

Skittles Fans, would you believe it? Yet another Zowy Wowy Freaky Skittles Story…

Dear Skittles Fans,

Today is the 4th of April and I have to admit last night I spoiled and indulged myself on my own favorite meal for supper…that was, a tin of 10 highly marinated and spiced grape leaves aka Dulmas, I have no idea how many cloves of garlic that I store in olive oil and half a large jar of artichoke hearts…..hmmm…well, you can guess what all that spice and oil was roiling, churning, turning and doing to my innards…..well, it was all Skittles fault…as soon as I went to the bathroom this morning, Skittles on his volition, no force, no cohersion, followed me into the bathroom and while he was rubbing and purring and twirling about didn’t he do the most silliest thing….HE CLOSED THE BATHROOM DOOR…well anyways Dear Readers, with much methane noise and biodegradeable matter and even more methane Skittles was so sorry!!!!!!!!! He was literally and I kid you not, literally lying on his side trying to sniff fresh air from the bottom of the bathroom door…I admit I am embarrassed to tell you such graphic details, but you should have seen my out of breath hyper-ventilating Skittles….needless to say, before the door was even open 1/2 an inch after I was done…Skittles was gone….much love to y’all…purr from Skittles, Andy from Ottawa

Leave a comment

Filed under Entertainment, Fable, Fact, Inspirational, Letter to my Friends, Life, Music, Pet Humour, Spiritual, Uncategorized, World View

Liz Taylor RIP….CNN do not saturate us….

CNN, I address you specifically, please respect us, the public, enough that yes, we all loved and will miss Liz Taylor….she died at 79….she had a helluva lot of fun…and joy and success that few could ever imagine….now please do not saturate your airwaves for over a week non-stop about Liz.  Oh, and coincidently, was it not 2 days ago in Iraq that a US Soldier was killed by an IED and you only reported it on the bottom of the news crawler and you never mentioned his name.  Let’s get a little fairness here.  Heroes or Stars?  I think you know where I’m going on this.  Stars have had their time…most of them…too much of it….but what about your 5000 Heroes that gave their lives in Iraq and Afganistan and soon I’m afraid…Libyia…yours, Andy from Canada.

Leave a comment

Filed under Commentary on TV Shows, Culture, Entertainment, Fact, Letter to my Friends, Life, News, Politics, Spiritual, Uncategorized, World View

Libyan No Fly Zone

USA, Beware, beware…..let the UN be the international policemen…if they have the balls to….do not step in….unwelcomed or uninvited…you think Iraq, which you thought was going to be a cakewalk has cost you almost 5000 lives and you are still there….well…my friends, if I read the Muslim world and mentality as I do, being Muslim myself, Libya will be more than a tough nut to crack….it will be a rock which has a diamond inside and everybody with an IQ over room temperature knows you can’t crack a diamond.  Beware!  Let the UN step up to the plate for once…peace out…Andy from Canada…

Leave a comment

Filed under Commentary on TV Shows, Culture, Entertainment, Fable, Fact, Inspirational, Letter to my Friends, Life, News, Politics, Spiritual, Uncategorized, World View

Gang Rape of Eleven Year Old Girl…Cleveland Texas

I am aghast…totally, totally astounded still….when words of this outrage first appeared in November there abouts….TV news people question about and yack about our culture of violence…me, I say, in all truth, honesty and fairness it is the violence of a sub culture….I don’t have to paint a brush anymore than that….listen to the music, look at the videos, watch any television show about crime stories, you know what I mean….48 Hours etc….it is that same mentality…totally appalled…and as for those 18 to up to 28 people because they think 10 more were involved, if that was my daughter there would be one helluva lot of grey matter splattered on the streets of Cleveland Texas before the police had a chance to arrest them…totally disgusted…Andy from Ottawa.

Leave a comment

Filed under Commentary on TV Shows, Culture, Fact, Letter to my Friends, Life, Music, News, Politics, Spiritual, Sports, Uncategorized, World View